Top Reasons Why Winter in Minnesota Isn't That Bad

+ Yes it does get dark very early but you look better in low lighting anyway.

+ All the winter layers can be an effective way to contain body odor.

+ Dogs carrying barrels of whiskey around their necks finally has real applicable value beyond encouraging alcoholism.

+ Dry, flakey skin is a great conversation starter.

+ A bearded man breaks into your home, leaves gifts, then helps himself to all your food... got to admire that kind of moxie.

+ Car driver's road rage is magically transformed to car driver's road rage... on ice! How enchanting!

+ Unfortunately it is not as easy and sometimes even (dare I say?) impossible to get around on a bike... but don't worry. You'll make massive, uncontrolled weight gain look good.

+ I hear snot pooling on your upper lip is the new black.

+ It's that chance to really dread going outside that you've been waiting for.

+ It's a lovely change of pace... for 5 soul crushing months.

+ You can take in the stale, vaguely rotten smell of your trapped breath that only a balaclava can provide.

+ Swine flu!