Come Alive

"I've seen women who've gotten into mountain biking who really come alive after just a few months. They're radiant, they've lost weight, their shoulders are back, and they're no longer taking any crap from their husbands."

-Carol Waters

A Little History for Your Reading Pleasure

No matter how much it pains me, this blog is about to delve into the dark, embarrassing annals of my past. Normally I wouldn't spend very long focusing on a time so entrenched in Cool Ranch Doritos and reruns of the People's Court, but it's become apparent that before Sad Tan© goes any farther we need to look at where we've been.

I have to make one thing perfectly clear: two years ago (almost to the day) I knew nothing about cycling. NOTHING. I hadn't even been on a bike since the age of nine. I participated in some high school team sports, but then I went to college and my favorite activity quickly became seeing how many pizza rolls I could eat in one sitting.*

I was overweight, unhappy, and completely inert.

Which raises a good point. Those who ride, for commuting and/or sport are not a different species. We are not doing anything that you can't do. We made the effort to map a route, we woke up early, and we rode. That is it. The truth of the matter is that we all had to start somewhere and often that somewhere was not particularly pretty.

And yet... I do understand the trepidation many would-be beginners feel. I remember all too well that I couldn't run because my shins hurt. I couldn't ride to work because traffic was scary. I couldn't go to the gym because it was boring and smelled sour. Excuse after excuse filled my brain and stalled my action and it took months... years, really to fully comprehend that they were just excuses. Maybe I rationalized that if I didn't ever try I wouldn't ever fail. But I was wrong. If you want to change something about your life you have to just change it. That's it. That simple. No excuses. Here, let me say it again, this time in italics:

If you want to change something about your life... just change it.

It may not be easy or even pain free. Hell, have I mentioned that I got hit by a car last week? But if I can do it, anyone can. Which is both the miracle and the inspiration behind Sad Tan:

Anyone can.



*Answer: Many

Oh, just hold your horses.

Writing about having an active life when you lead an active life is proving a more difficult than initially expected.

For instance: yesterday I rode my bike to work (5 miles)
Worked the ol' 9 to 5
Rode home (5 miles)
Ran with the dog (2 miles)
Rode to Pilates (5 miles)
Pilates it up (What is the past tense of Pilates?... Pilatazed? Pilateed? Pilated?)
Rode straight to a friend's house to try on my new cycling kit for Angry Catfish Bicycle and Coffee Bar (6-7 miles)
Rode home (3-4 miles)
Made enough guacamole for at least 4 healthy adults to consume
Consumed all the guacamole myself
Showered
Collapsed

Now. Where exactly would you fit in writing? If one were feeling sassy, one might say something like "you could just cut out one of the billion physical activities you've got going on and replace it with one mental one... like writing." But it really isn't that easy. The Duathlon is one month away. Just one. I've worked damn hard every day molding myself from a depressed, overweight, out of shape heap of excuses into a determined, strong, healthy young woman. And I'm not about to stop now.

So, the moral of the story here is that patience is character building. Something of quality will be posted soon enough. Right now, I've got to run.

Safety is Sexy

Of course. This was bound to happen.

Here we are trying to start up a blog about how fun and enjoyable cycling in the Twin Cities is and I get hit by a car. "Ooo, welcome to Sad Tan! Cycling is soo gratifying. Now here are 800 plus words about how easy it is to die. Thanks!" Doesn't exactly make for a lighthearted reading experience. But, the bottom line is that an accident did happen (see full story below) and no matter how "uncool" these topics may be to discuss, they still need to be discussed.

Luckily I was wearing a helmet. I'm one of those people who should probably wear one just walking around in every day life, let alone when rocketing down a hill at 25 mph perched on top two wheels. It just somehow seems to make sense. And yet people come up with all kinds of reasons not to wear them.

1. Helmets make me look funny.

BS! Well, that's a lie. They do make you look funny. But they make everyone look funny. It's like a club. I've been riding full tilt in 90 degree weather, red in the face, hair sticking straight out from under the straps, and I see another cyclist who looks the same. We always smile and wave. Or at the least smile and nod. Look! I made a friend. I wouldn't have had that camaraderie without my funny looking safety hat. And the best part is, it doesn't take long before you see another person and another and another all protecting themselves in the same way. So please, don't take yourself too seriously and get a helmet. In 20 years you'll think everything you were wearing, saying, doing, and thinking when you were "at this age" was cosmically dumb. The helmet is probably the least of your fashion worries. (Nice skinny jeans by the way.)

2. They cost too much and there aren't any cute styles.

BS! Put the same effort you put into making your facebook status updates clever and I guarantee you'll have yourself a stylin, pocket-book friendly helmet in under 24 hours. Every bike shop in town has a wide variety to suit every personality. And if they don't have just the right product, I hear there is a crazy invention called "the google" that might be just the thing for you. Ask around about it. I hear it's the latest rage.

3. Well, I am a very safe cyclist and don't need one

BS! You can be riding with as much cautionary prudence as Mother Theresa and if the fat bastard eating a cheeseburger and texting his baby-mamma in the SUV behind doesn't happen to see you, you're done. DONE. It is the other guy you need to worry about. So often car drivers don't even notice cyclists. Did you hear that? They don't even notice you. You can literally be obeying every rule in the book (as I was last Friday) and still find your head scrapping pavement. This isn't a game. These aren't matchbox cars and you are not invincible. It's two tons of suburban road rage against 25 lbs of LeMond. Why not do everything you can to protect yourself? It's not exactly the time to be all la-tee-da about it.

Of course, I'm not saying helmets are some miracle product that could levitate you at the moment of impact and prevent you from getting hurt. I wouldn't be talking about helmets anymore, I'd be talking about The Matrix. But, if you know of any other golden excuses please, by all means, email us or post them as a comment. I'd love nothing more than to prove you wrong with the same snarky tone I've been using this whole time.

A little education goes a long way. Take the time to know the rules. I cannot stress this enough.
Please click here for the Minneapolis City of Lakes website that offers plenty of *official* information including cycling 101, detours and maps, bicycle and transit tips and much much more.
The Minneapolis Metro Transit Website is also helpful.
For more of a bike-community feel complete with advice, recipes, reviews, and forums, Bike Radar is most excellent.
Come to think of it so are the 17 additional websites listed here.

It may come as a surprise, but some car drivers are actually doing their best to be safe and cautious but if you're riding down the wrong side of the road with no lights at night, you're making it a little difficult. Especially when "the google" (there it is again!) makes it so easy to be knowledgeable.

The number one rule I can honestly recommend is not to make this into an "us" vs. "them" issue. That's right. Here I am, a proclaimed cyclist, honestly suggesting we all just start to be nice to each other. Many car drivers have never commuted and have no idea why cyclists do so many "strange" things (Cuffs rolled up? Track stands? Rolling through stop signs?)... it's enough to send them running scared back to Edina. So, cut them a little slack. Every time I've allowed a car to take their turn at a stop sign or waved apologetically when doing something stupid I am rewarded with equal amounts of understanding and kindness. Allow for some human error. We all make mistakes. No reason to get all bent out of shape about it.

And yes, I will totally understand M N Rad's shock at reading this since the only addendum to her telling of the accident was that I screamed the "F" word over and over and over again at the car drivers the rest of the time I stood there... buut hindsight is 20/20 and I can write whatever the hell I want on this thing.

Ride safe out there folks. It really can be a lot of fun :)

Car 1, *ants 0

Unfortunately, we all here of people getting hit by cars, trucks and other moving vehicles that are bigger and stronger than us. We put blinking lights on the front and backs of our bikes so we are seen. We wear helmets so that the off chance someone takes a dive or worse. You never think it is going to be one of your friends or someone you know but on Friday night, it was.

A group of us joined up to go for ride going from pub to pub style. So through the streets of St. Paul we go, pedaling along. For those of you unfamiliar with St. Paul, its one hilly city! Nothing compaired to San Fran but when it is your first "RIDE" let me tell ya...its rough at times. Anyway. Back to the story!

On our way to our third destination for the evening, a car suddenly pulled over and struck *Antonia. After some serious rage of realizing that she had been hit, an ambulance, fire truck, and two cop cars showed up rather quickly to make sure my fair companion in blogging and adventures was okie doekie. I think my favorite part was when she was yelling "I HAVE MY BLINKY LIGHTS AND EVERYTHING SO YOU CAN SEE ME!" (I may have misqouted) and the picture I have of the ambulance dude looking like he is copping a feel. Luckily, there was only minor damage; some road rash, a broken shoe buckle, little bang up job on the Klauck, and a sore wrist. However, it didn't take away from the horrifying site of my friend lying in the street, writhing in pain and not knowing if she was going to get up.

I can only imagine the absolute fear that was running through the guy that hit her. And it absolutely scares me to death that people don't pay attention. Many bike riders try to pay attention for both cars and themselves, but they can't all the time.
PLEASE look for blinky lights.

Sād⋅[Tan] - Noun- Defined

The premise behind a "Sad Tan" is very simple.

1) Girls ride bikes. We ride through the forests and the cities, in the night and in the day, through the rain and the sun. We are everywhere, pedaling our little hearts out.

2) Girls wear low-rise jeans. It's gone from a fashion fad to an irritating, unavoidable fashion norm. I've tried to find a good pair of riding jeans, I really have. But apparently the "Jordache" look isn't cool anymore and everything else varies from showing a little crack to showing a whole lot of crack.

3) Low-rise jeans give girls muffin top. It's a scientific fact. I've seen otherwise svelte young ladies rocking the bulging sides due to the awkward cut and unfortunate tight waist band of low-rise. If you aren't familiar with the term, click here and learn more: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=muffin+top

4) When riding muffin top is greatly exaggerated. Yet another scientific fact. It's because most bicycle designs make the cyclist hunch over. Furthermore, due to the slightly bent over position, the cyclist's shirt, no matter how long, will often creep up and up and up until a small length of skin is exposed.

5) The small length of skin sees a lot of sun and gets wicked tan.

6) When the rider gets off the bike, the muffin top is released. The love-handles, muffin-top, whatever you want to call it, sinks back down to it's normal position.

7) The resulting tan looks like a lower back frown.

[Literally, a Sad Tan]

Thank you, thank you. More soon.

And for any word nerds out there:

sad

/sæd/ –adjective, sad⋅der, sad⋅dest.

Origin: bef. 1000; ME; OE sæd grave, heavy, weary, orig. sated, full; c. Gsatt, Goth saths full, satisfied; akin to L satis enough, satur sated, Gk hádēn enough. See satiate, saturate

(www. dictionary.com)

tan

1 /tæn/ verb, tanned,tan⋅ning, noun, adjective, tan⋅ner, tan⋅nest

Origin: bef. 1000; 1920–25 for def. 2; ME tannen to make hide into leather, late OE *tannian (in ptp. getanned; cf. tanner ¹ ) <>tannāre, deriv. of tannum oak bark, tanbark <>tannaoak, fir, akin to D den fir

(www. dictionary.com)

A little about M N Rad

Working on something new. For those that don't know, I am pretty new to bikes. I mean I have been riding one since I was little, but I didn't really get what is what with bikes. I pedal around but never knew you were supposed to be fitted to a bike or that there were that many different things about bikes. It makes sense right, there are so many components to snowboards, skateboards, surfboards, why not bikes. I mean my boy is a bike mechanic. So you think I would know a thing or two about bikes. However, I am clueless. So here I am, learning! These are my adventures...in art, with friends, and in life.

P.S. I like saying bikes.

*smile*

puttin' it together...

TMAS is getting all the parts together...now if I only had a frame I could better work on my sad tan. *smile*
<3
Meg